speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
