what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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