she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
