part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
you never un-have a 4some
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
