I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
