Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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