She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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