Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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