You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
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