I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
