I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
