he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
