32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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