I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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