I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
