i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
