Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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