he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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