He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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