weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
