Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
