so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
