If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
