that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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