No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Drunk is not a location!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
