I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
