cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She's the barista slut.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
