And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My vagina is officially offended.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
