it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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