I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
