What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
