he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
