You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
