I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
