I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
