You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
