So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
