you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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