I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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