Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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