Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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