so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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