he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
