I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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