just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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