'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
