how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
