Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
