She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
