Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
