I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
